


The smile of the Paladins

by Veelitann



Series: The Heart of Paladins [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Injured Lance (Voltron), Langst, Lost Boys, M/M, human feelings, lost shiro, shance, shangst, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2018-10-30 21:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10885656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veelitann/pseuds/Veelitann
Summary: The waiting is unbearable and long until Lance's back, and Keith can't stand seeing Shiro like this anymore.





	1. Your smile

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a while before finishing this chapter, sorry! Of course I'm not done with it, our poor boys deserve better than this! ;w; 
> 
> I'm working a lot on Purplish Blue, but I needed to write this part lately...So well. Here we are!
> 
> Please, enjoy! <3

Hours passing by, the castle had first been quiet. There had been an almost palpable tension between all of them during the first meal they were having after being back from the last mission. It had been as a victory as a disaster. 

Then, hours had transformed into days. 

Carefully watching to his left and his right, Keith held back a sigh. It was...Quiet. No one was complaining about the green space jelly being too cold or too gummy. There was only the sound of spoons on plates, the soft chewing on the flabby food and sometimes Pidge would hum a little, a little out of their world as she was thinking about something on her own -something that had nothing to see with Paladins, Voltron, the castle, space jelly, the training, the last mission... 

The last mission. 

His spoon thrust a little in the jelly with no use at all, and patted at it experimentally like everytime he was zoning out during a meal. 

They _did it_. It wasn't without any effort, not without losing anything in the end, but still, they managed to destroy one of the biggest bases of the Galras. 

But. 

_But_. 

_BUT_ \-- 

"Could you please stop sighing, Keith?" 

The young man raised his eyes from his plate -he'd barely touched it aside from the extremity of his spoon, tracing roads then destroying them as soon as possible, and he blinked at Coran who was staring at him, mouth full of jelly and pointing toward him with his own spoon. 

"What?" he hissed. 

"We _know_ that you miss your daddy-friend right now, but it's already quiet enough without Lance for you not to add such a note of boredom like this." the man continued. If during the first seconds Keith didn't take it, he felt his face suddenly fire up and the tip of his ears burned, probably even redder than the rest of his face. 

"I--uh-what?" He almost choked on his bad attempt at answering to Coran and the Altean man lifted an eyebrow at him. 

"Oh. It's not that? Since Shiro isn't here today and you're always stuck on his heels with puppy eyes." His voice sounded truly surprised, what took Keith not a second to realise. Oh, well. His words, nonetheless, weren't quite what he expected. "I thought you were lost." 

Running a hand on his face, Keith sighed a little, with the hope that his cool hand skin would help him get rid of the heat. Even if he knew what they all thought about his behaviour toward Shiro, it was always weird to directly take a pun about their relation. 

"I'm not _lost_ ," he replied with another sigh, but a lighter one this one. "I was just, hum..." 

A few seconds later, he vaguely thought about the puppy part. _FUCK!_

Coran's gaze was still on him, and Allura was starting to do the same with curiosity, what was quite...Annoying right now. Keith looked away from the pair of Alteans, mumbling with a small blush on his cheeks. "I was wondering when Lance would be here again," he finally managed to say. 

Lowering his gaze and avoiding the incredulous looks he had just earned in one sentence, Keith shoved his spoon in his mouth, filling it with jelly even if he wasn't really in the mood for eating -but you never now what can happen, right? Never deny your body's needs. Never. 

"Oh." 

That was Allura's voice this time. Her features were a bit darker than usual, eyes slightly unsure of what to say and somehow it hit Keith that it was incredibly _weird_. Allura had always something to say, may it be good or not. But not this time. From what he could see, it looked like a sad face, hold back as much as possible not to show it in front of everyone. 

Not to show how she was feeling about the situation in front of the Paladins of Voltron. 

Keith shook his head a little at that thought. It wasn't like her. Of course, she already acted like this before, she wasn't a beast, she had her own way of thinking, but at the same time he had always taken it that Allura was kind of...Another type of 'Lance'. Not the stupid type, of course, they'd let this part to Lance. He was pretty good at dumb acting. 

_Acting_ , he suddenly thought. And that very word took Keith right in the guts and he let go of his spoon without a word. 

"Keith?" He heard Hunk's as he was standing, seat slipping on the floor with a soft creaking. "You don't eat?" 

"I'm worrying," the young man replied. "I'm going to see Shiro." 

"You need to rest and eat to regain strength! We're just back from a mission, a huuuuuge one!" Hunk protested. "Lance even almost died!" 

The last word Hunk used set Keith on the edge of something he couldn't place. _Died_. And he fell down, ass flat on his seat. The silence around the table was heavy. Even Pidge wasn't talking, thrusting her spoon again and again in the weird space food they had been eating for months now, special _thanks_ to Coran's cooking skills. 

Keith narrowed his eyes a little at Hunk who had frozen on his seat at his own words, head bowed with a sorry looks on his face. Mouth slightly parted, the huge boy was obviously trying to find some better words, but this time Keith left his seat without even waiting for someone to catch him. 

"I'm going to see Shiro," he repeated, louder as if to prevent any of them from trying to stop him again. 

Hunk only let out a sigh but kept on eating slowly -even for him, this dinner was a difficult moment. 

When the door opened before him, a breath of fresh air hit him right away and Keith filled his lunges with it, then exaled in a loud and deep breathing. Walking in the corridor helped him to feel better in some way. It was silent, quiet, as he headed toward Shiro's room. Since their return from the last mission, the man had barely been seen with the group, spending most of his time between his room, the training room and the healing room. 

When he knocked at the door, a silence first answered him. 

He insisted a little, calling. "Shiro? It's me." 

It took a moment before he got an answer. Shiro didn't _talk_ , actually; the door opened on the man, his hand on the electronic door system, and Keith instantly felt like he wasn't really welcome. He swallowed now unsure of why he had come to the room. Shiro looked exhausted after all those days. 

"Are you ok?" Keith heard himself ask, but somehow he knew the answer already. 

Shiro hesitated –and it was the worst, the man not even bothering showing a good mood. Keith frowned a little, then pushed the man back into the room and followed him. The sound of pressured air when the door closed in his back made him shiver a bit. They were alone. The light was as strong as always in Shiro's room. 

It looked as empty as usual. As clean as usual. As _perfect_ as usual. But Keith swallowed heavily again: something wasn't fine with the place. Was it due to Shiro's silence? His non-smiling face? His low posture, shoulders down? 

"I'm tired," Shiro finally admitted while sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Keith followed him with his eyes, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. "We're worrying about you, Shiro. Haven't seen you a lot lately." 

Shiro sighed. "I'm worrying about Lance," he simply replied, but behind that short answer, Keith understood everything involved in those few words. 

He had heard it, after all. 

Everything. Every single scream. Every single word. Every breath of Shiro. The soft murmurs hardly coming from Lance when they were back in the cockpit, but he was unable to understand any of this. 

But he saw it, too. 

He saw the despair growing in Shiro's eyes, seconds after seconds, when he was talking to Lance. They couldn't hear _Lance_. Shiro's words only could reach their microphones. It was awful, desperate, fear filling their helmets. But they had been useless. Shiro had been the only one who had received Lance's call, God knew why. 

Shiro was the only one who could see Lance at that moment; their lions couldn't intercept Lance's screen too. 

It had been the most frustrating part, knowing about a mate's awful position and not being able to see or do anything. 

"It's been a week," Shiro added at Keith's silence. 

"He--" 

Keith tried not to care too much about Shiro's dark features –he'd rarely seen him like this and wasn't at ease with it. Usually, Shiro wasn't doing so good when he was lost in his memories from his captivity amongst the Galras. 

But not today. 

"He'll be back soon," he tried. 

"A _full_ week, Keith!" Shiro insisted, and this time he raised his voice a little, making Keith jump in surprise. "I heard Coran yesterday; it usually shouldn't last for so long, except if it means healing someone half _dead_!" 

At that, Keith didn't answer. He knew how his friend -his brother in law- could feel. He came closer, sitting near Shiro on the bed. His shoulder barely touched the man's arm. Shiro let him do like he wished -he always did, after all. Then, Keith sighed a little, searching for a spot to stare at, in silence. 

"It didn't take so much time," Shiro suddenly said. 

"Uh?" 

"The first time." 

"Oh." 

"Remember when the pod opened after that?" 

Shiro needed to talk. It was ovious, and Keith wanted to scream at it. It wasn't Shiro's habit to get all talkative, even if it suited him so well. He sounded more like the Shiro he'd known before his captivity on an alien ship. 

"Mh, yeah. We were...Uh, stupidly having a 'time race'..." Keith mumbled at the memory and at how dumb they had all been. 

Shiro nodded slowly, a gentle smile on his lips. 

"Yeah, that. Lance was just like...Popping out of nowhere and no one really cared about him at first and it was like he didn't even care..." 

Keith gave a quick gaze to Shiro, repeating. " _It was like_?" 

Shiro shrugged a bit. "I've seen...Something...Kind of a disapointment, maybe sadness? I mean, when he's seen us at first and nobody has even look at him..." 

"But you saw it? Why didn't you say anything?" 

Shiro shook his head. "I don't know. I felt like it wasn't really my place to say something...You know, I...Still wasn't used to _them_..." 

_And lost with all his feelings and memories_ , Keith tought but didn't say it out loud. He remembered Sendak and Shiro's reactions, everything that had happened at that moment. 

"I don't want him to feel alone again," Shiro murmured. 

Keith chuckled a little at that. "I think that guy's always lost somehow." It was the saddest thing about the blue Paladin. They probably didn't all notice that; but Keith did. He _did_ see the gaze Lance was giving through the thick windows of the castleship, how lonely and scared he looked while staring at the deep, huge, dark space surrounding them most of the time. How he would isolate himself with a stupid excuse for a few hours and get back with a stupid grin and slightly red eyes. 

"We've been stuck in all this together," Keith added. "But I've always feel like he's the one who can't deal with it...I mean, there's something? He can't stop thinking about his old life, I guess." 

"Keith..." 

"Mmh?" 

"Do you think that Lance would smile if he could go back to Earth?" 

Keith blinked at that. That was...Unexpected? He frowned a little. "That guy might be the one with the highest quota of smiles that we have ever known, Shiro, if he smiles even more, I'm pretty sure that his face is going to--" 

"A real smile." 

"Oh." 

_Oh._

"You really like Lance," Keith laughed gently, hitting softly Shiro in the ribs with his elbow and the man rolled his eyes with a sigh. 

"I like all of you here," the man mumbled. 

"But you don't mind if we're not smiling enough, right?" 

"That's _different_ ," and this time, Shiro straight up on his bed, shoulders high as he used to be. Keith hold back a grin at that; it was more like Shiro. 

"What's different, Shiro?" Keith tried. 

"He..." Shiro started, then lost his words for a moment and suddenly stood to walk a little in the room with a sigh. "I don't know." 

"Shiro..." 

" _I don't know!_ " Shiro repeated, a little higher but enough to make Keith stand too. 

"You're still under the shock," he said. 

"I'm not! It's just..." 

Keith frowned. "Just?" 

He could see Shiro's expression soften a little, and the man gave him a small and sorry smile. "I think I miss him." 

"We all do, don't we?" Keith shrugged a little, but Shiro shook his head, not giving so much credit to his words, before walking again in the small space of the room. 

"Probably," Shiro sighed. "Lance would be glad to know it, I guess. Coming from you, I mean." 

"UH! Don't tell him. I don't need him to snarl at me for weeks. He's gonna smile stupidly all the time again, and that's already enough for you not to add that!" Keith's grimace made Shiro laugh a little, and somehow the man's mood sounded a little better. 

Shiro stopped again, rubbing absentmindly his prosthesis with a thumb. "Lance is like that. Well, he's Voltron's smile, somehow?" 

"The _what_?" Keith opened wide eyes at that, and Shiro laughed louder at his pouting face that followed. "Oh, man...I think I see what's so different, after all." 

It wasn't the first time Keith could observe such reactions from Shiro when it was about Lance. He'd tried to talk to the man about it before -but no need to say that it never led to anything. 

"Mh? What do you mean?" 

Keith sighed. 

Shiro's smile lingered a little longer as the thought of Lance laughing in the corridor was still in their minds. 

"Lance is more like...Your smile," he finally breathed and he immediatly earned a surprised gaze. 

"What do you--" 

"Think about it this time." 

"I don't--" 

" _Please_." Keith waved a little at Shiro and his shocked face -he wasn't sure about the real reason for that. "It won't kill you for once. Just _think_ about what you feel and what you want. You're allowed to have a life and desirs and everything, Shiro. Don't deny yourself for those around you. Not anymore." 

He knew that Shiro didn't feel comfortable anymore with the topic keith was bringing on. He shifted from one foot to the other, eyes trying to focus on something but never findinganything interesting. 

"Keith, I--" 

"I beg you."


	2. Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Coran sees how bad is the condition of Shiro and the team, he decides to act. And it might not be for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, yes! A new chapter for this part! ;w; And Due to how it goes, I've changed it for a 3chapters fanfiction!
> 
> Hope you'll like it <3

"Where is he?" 

Shiro's voice echoed in the big healing room, the transparent pods not being enough to fill the place. The inside of Lance's pod was empty as the man had just entered the room, Coran's hand swipping the bluish glass up and down with a thin towel. All dedicated t his task, the Altean advisor barely gave some attention to Shiro and only waved to another door. 

"He's been transferred this morning," he said. "The pod wasn't enough anymore, it made its work for now." 

It took a moment for Shiro to get it. Standing straight on the upper step leading to the middle of the pod circle, he didn't move, staring at the ginger man. 

_Two weeks._

"I said : where is he?" 

Coran sighed –gently though. He knew how every member of the team was stubborn and SHiro wasn't an exception. He just wasn't the type to show it. He never asked anything selfishly. He never thought about himself if it could be annoying for the other one. 

"I doubt that you want to know. I'm sorry, Shiro. Not that your presence would hurt him, really. But with your psychological condition, it wouldn't do any good to _you_. Why aren't you with the others today?" 

"They're training."

"You don't?"

"I--" 

Little by little, under Keith's worried gaze, Shiro had started to come with the other members of Voltron in the last two days. His silence had probably been the worst thing that had happened for the team –worse than Lance's absence somehow, Coran could swear. 

"I didn't feel like...Training..." 

Shiro rubbed his neck quickly, eyes down to the ground. He knew that he shouldn't be here at that moment, but he definitely couldn't help and for the Altean man it was already a warning about the Paladins condition. The team's state. If they had to loose one of them, would they disappear as a whole?

"Tell me, Coran," Shiro suddenly said. "What's the situation?" 

This time, Coran completly stopped scrubbing the pod and considered the small towel for a moment. He frowned a little, trying to evaluate the situation. 

"He's not dead," he finally said and added quickly at Shiro's awfully dark features. "I mean, it could have even been worse, young Paladin." 

At the kind reminder, Shiro paled a little. This time, his eyes found the pod again, and Coran could bet that he was imagining the narrow body in it, remembering its shape loating in the healing water. "Was I too late?" he murmured after a moment -Coran was starting to wonder wether he could go back to his duties or not. Well. It was ' _not_ ' then. 

"What do you mean _late_?" 

Coran knew the answer already. He'd lived the same experience with Allura and Alfor, when the queen had died. Alfor had never accepted his wife's death, blaming himself every day for not being able to do anything. For not being able to save her. For not being able to bring her mother to the young princess. 

"It took me too much time," Shiro whispered. He'd crossed his arms tight around his chest, his expression lost like a child. "I couldn't find him--"

"Shiro, you couldn't trace him, remember?" 

"I should have _feel_ him at least! Something else, anything! Aren't we fucking Paladins?" 

"Y-yeah, but--" 

"What's the point in saving the entire galaxy if we can't save those we're close to? If we can't _feel_ them when they're in danger and dying? Tell me, Coran!" 

"Shiro, you--" 

Coran sighed heavily this time. It was rare. Seeing Shiro like this looked like they had missed something important -something huge, and the man wasn't so surprised by the situation. He just didn't expect it to really happen one day. 

Because there was one thing, with those Paladins. Something he'd alway had in mind and had worked with, trying to adjust everything to that factor. 

"You all are human beings, Shiro," he slowly said, tracking the man's reaction. And it was scary and terrible to see the black Paladin's expression breaking so easily. He was the strongest of the Paladins. 

Hadn't he been able to survive the Galras? Wasn't he the oh, so famous gladiator? The Champion, as they called him? 

"We're just human beings," Shiro repeated, more for himself, and a hint of a smirk blossomed on his lips -Coran didn't like that smile. It wasn't Siro at all. 

Tossing his rag somewhere behind him, Coran gave up on the cleaning -he would come back later. 

"Young Paladin," he said again, "please follow me." 

It worked. Shiro was giving him a genuinely surprised look and it was better this way. Passing by the man, Coran patted his shoulder gently. "Follow me," he repeated. 

The corridor was silent; when they passed before the training room, they barely heard the rest of the team thanks to the soundproofing of the doors and walls. Through the small window of the door though, Shiro could glimpse at Keith, his thin and young body rolling on the floor -Pidge didn't get to come in time to protect him and he disappeared in the sudden hole on the floor. 

"They're getting better and better everyday," Coran said, and Shiro teared his eyes off the window to follow him farther. 

"I know." 

"Lance too." 

Shiro frowned a little at that. "Why would he be different?" 

Coran only shrugged at it. "Twice about to die, twice in your arms, why wouldn't you think differently, Shiro? You're rather protective with him. 

"I'm not protective." 

"Oh, really. Your reactions for two weeks are another proof of it. You're not protective, yup. You're _over protective_ , that's right. Sorry for mistaking." 

"Coran!" Shiro hissed between his teeth, suddenly feeling embarrassed. 

"Ah, here we are!" 

Shiro lift his eyes to the door Coran had just opened at the end of the second corridor. It was the control room, and it was still weird when nobody was here, using the panels. 

"It's on automatic pilot again?" Shiro asked. 

Coran sat on his seat, nodding. "Mh, yeah.Wormhole every two days so Galras can't find us easily." 

So it was the explainations for the weird moves of the castleship _every two days_. Shiro stood by his sides, curious about the enlightening neon red screen. 

"But it shaked the castle quite a lot," he tried. "Isn't it dangerous for Lance?" 

"Precisely the reason why we don't do it _more often._ I swear to god that everyday would be safer." 

"I-I see..." 

"Not sure you do, Paladin, but well. Ah, there!" 

Shiro was observing Coran's hands as the fingers quickly tipped on the luminescent touches of the computer, opening another screen next to the main one. He swallowed at the view of Lance in his cockpit, wearing his paladin armor and helmet, the visor down on his face. The colour just made his eyes look even more blue than usual on the screen. 

"What does it mean?"

"This," Coran answered with a sigh, "is the video of what has happened on that day, Shiro. I need you to understand that you're not to blame." 

"I don't--"

"Just watch." 

Shiro tightened his lips into a thin line, visibly pouting at the way Coran was talking to him -like a child actually and to be honest it was the first time in ages that someone was doing it. But the alien didn't mind so much -it was difficult to think about the man in that way but still, in their reality, Coran _was_ an alien for Earth people. 

Coran didn't say anything anymoe; he pressed on a button, launching the video. Shiro remembered seeing Lance on his own screen at that moment of the battle, with his eyebrows deeply frowning, and that concentrated expression -it was so unlike him, unlike what he showed them day by day. 

_"Eww shit, what are they doing again? Oh my god, guys, they have a giiiiiaaaant canon--"_ Lance was mumbling mostly, but Shiro remembered those parts, quite lost in the sound of explosions around us. He should have given more attention to everything, but actually, yeah, a _giant canon_ could have been anything, and coming from Lance who was saying puns all along the battle, it was hard to really take it seriously. 

Quickly, Shiro had taken the seat of the closest panel, and he didn't care so much about Coran who had put his own seat a little aside to let the man watch as attentively as he needed. 

Puns were a thing that Lance was using to hide his condition, and Shiro knew that nevertheless. Here, quietly watching the video, he could see the thin drops of nervous sweat running on his skin under the visor. 

Soon, the camera got a few interferences and between two cut of the screen, Shiro managed to see how Blue was shaken by a deflagration. But it wasn't it. It wasn't at that moment that Lance--

" _Wow! Reminds me of Disney-Land! Keith, you'd definitely be sick if you were trying it!_ "

" _I wouldn't!_ " Keith's grumpy voice came out right away, making Shiro smile -they were always like this, as if it was their way to show that they _cared_ for each other. 

Lance laughter filled the microphone. Shiro remembered that moment, when his voice quietly echoed in his cockpit, somehow cheering everyone by being _full of life_. 

_"I bet you would, let's try when we're back home, okay?"_

He clenched his fist at that. Keith had only growled with annoyance in response, but Shiro knew; he knew how important was that sentence, that proposal. It was more of a request actually. It was more than everything. It was Lance's deepest wish, and, somehow, the young man's last one. s

It was the worst thing that Coran could have shown Shiro. 

" _Man, I think I can do something! Hey, Shiro, listen!"_

" _What is it Lance?_ "

Shiro swallowed thickly when he heard his own voice in Lance's cockpit through the microphone. 

But this time, he didn't miss it. That soft expression suddenly set on Lance's features, the way his eyes softened, the way his hands were gripping the commands of Blue. 

_"You four, distract them for a minute, I'm going right behind. See the fragments of meteors over there?"_

_"What are you planning? _" Keith's voice had echoed again before Shiro could even think about an answer.__

____

____

__" _Shoot them from behind. I've already seen that type of canon, okay? There's a wreak point, I can reach it if I'm close enough but I need to be in a different angle--"_ _ _

" _That's_ dangerous _Lance!_ " 

His own voice, again. He knew it. He knew he was right. He knew how deadly it coud be if something was going wrong. Might it be the Galras shooting Lance or--Anything? 

" _I know. Do you have a better solution?_ " Lance asked. 

It was awful to know what was going to happen, listen to it again and not being able to do anything. 

Something suddenly hit him in the video. Lance wasn't smiling at all and seeing him so serious was just killing him. No one had answered Lance, giving him a long silence, full of explosions. 

" _Okaaaay guys, cover for me!_ " 

For a second, Lance's smirk was back but obviously he wasn't having fun at all. He was concentrating on his task, his mission. It was rather a nervous smile, a habit that Shiro had already noticed many times, when he wasn't sure of himself, of what he was doing, of his success, like he could fail so hard and--

Lance's cockpit suddenly moved hard on the screen, the blue Paladin holding his command for dear life and with a sudden fear all over his face. Shiro remembered how the Galras had been trying to chase him, how they had needed to keep them far from Lance. One of them had probably passed through them and shot the blue lion. 

" _Ewww shit shit shit--_ " Lance's voice was suddenly nervous, yet low and discreet in the microphone, and Shiro frowned at it, his face closer to the screen to have a better look. He couldn't see properly because of the small surface covered by the camera in the cockpit, but something had moved in a corner. 

_How didn't they notice that?_

At that moment, it had been impossible for them to check on their screens. They were focusing on the battle, the spaceships trying to destroy the lions. Now, he was able to see everything. His heart was pounding hard in his chest. The insecurity in his eyes was awfully disturbing, the way he was tightening his mouth, straight and concentrated, everything was just showing how hard he was working on what he had to do. 

" _How's it going_?" Keith was still talking sometimes between two bursts, but even the young half-Galra sounded breathless. 

Lance grimaced a little at first, but soon he smiled nonetheless. Shiro didn't like that smile. 

" _I'm in position_ ," he said. 

" _Take care, they're everywhere. They probably already know what you have in mind._ " 

" _Got it. I need to adjust a little, then I'm on it._ " 

It looked great at that moment. Lance wasn't moving blue anymore, working on his gun and locking the target. As fast as possible -as good as possible. Shiro knew that Lance wasn't one to put himself in danger if he didn't need, so he was probably at the safest place around for his work -or he wouldn't look that peaceful through his concentration. 

" _Heeeere it's comiiiing,_ " he softly sang, still low. " _EVERYONE, GO AWAY NOW!_ " 

So when? When did it happen? 

Shiro heard the sound of Blue's burst, he saw the victorious smirk of Lance. 

_WHEN!?_

And something happened; Lance was operating to get out of the place as soon as possible, the huge outburst potentially about to reach him when the Galra base would explode. 

At that moment, a ray of light crossed the screen and a part of the cockpit. 

Shiro didn't need more. Lance's scream resonnated awfully in his ears, at the same time as the base was destroyed and the shockwave reached Blue. 

The screen was dark. 

But Shiro just had the time to see Lance's face when the shot of light had come, he'd seen it crossing the white armor, the thin body on the seat. 

He'd seen the surprise in his eyes, the sudden pain, the fear and realization of what was happening. 

He'd seen the horrible light of the exlosion reaching Blue and how the lion was already shaken right when the screen went off. 

He didn't need more. Seeing Lance and what had happened before their lions were cut from each other was all he needed. 

For a long minute, he remained silent, thinking hard on everything he'd just watched. 

"What...What was it...?" he finally managed to say. 

"That's the point," Coran sighed. "Never saw that weapon." 

"Is there any trace in Blue's cockpit?" 

"We've checked everywhere. Even his--" 

Shiro saw the man hesitating and raised an eyebrow when Coran let his shoulders drop. 

"Even on his body." 

This time, Coran didn't try to make a bad pun, or to rationalize in any way. He joined his hands, frowning. 

"It's like it crossed Blue like nothing was keeping the blast from doing it, but it didn't do the same on Lance. Blue was supposed to protect its Paladin, and instead it was like it was made of thin air? I don't get it, really." 

Coran closed the screens and control panel off after that. "Their technology might be even more advanced than what we thought," he said. "We'll have to be more careful next time." 

"Next time?" Shiro repeated. 

"We never know what might happen _next time_!" Coran hissed. "Think about _Lance_! Think about what happened to him!" 

Shiro's heart was still beating too fast after the video. He gulped then stood up, followed by Coran's curious gaze. 

"I need to see him, Coran." 

"Shiro, you can't--" 

But this time, Shiro narrowed his eyes, fists clenched. 

"I said, _I need to see him_." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was hard and weird at the same time to go back on what happened at the beginning of the story! 
> 
> But now we know a little more about it! <3


	3. Please...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coran takes Shiro to Lance's new place for his recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do feel sorry for taking so long, but you know how it is, life and stuff. So I'm glad that I could write this chapter last night, I really wanted to do it for so long and I missed these boys ;o; 
> 
> I hope you'll like it <3 Haven't written in a while but... <3

Shiro had never realize how big the castle was, and if Coran hadn't been with him it certainly would have taken Shiro days to find that place. The corridors had felt endless as they'd been walking, but there he wasn't sure if it was due to his impatience or something like that. The dark gray walls always looked the same in every places of the castle, but soon there was something different. The smell lingering in the air wasn't neutral anymore, and Shiro winced a bit. It was, more and more, similar to that malaisant fragrance he'd known in hospitals on Earth. 

Coran didn't talk -it set some uneasy feeling between the two of them, but Shiro was nervous enough not to mind that much about the Altean. 

"As I told you Shiro," Coran suddenly said without turning back to look at the man, "we had to move Lance to another healing method. The pod is a thing for a certain state of injuries, but here it wasn't enough anymore." 

"Yeah, you told me a little about it," Shiro replied. His fists had clenched against his thighs as he followed the pace that Coran had placed. 

"So we moved him to the second healing department." 

Coran stopped in front of a door and Shiro frowned a little. He had never been to that aisle of the castle and the whole place wasn't something he was feeling at ease in. He took Coran's words, nodding in silence as the door was being pushed. 

It was a room Shiro had never seen, like the rest of that part of the castle. Grey and white like everything here, the metal frame of the walls couldn't give any clue about the use of the room. But the equipment said it all. There weren't beds really. It was like another collection of potential healing pods, except the fact that they were set horizontally. Coran walked toward one of them, making sure that Shiro was following him. 

When he came close enough to the dark glassy tube, Shiro hold his breath for a moment. 

Like this, it looked like a protection against the environment, like some children stuck up under high protection due to the absence of a proper immune system. The idea itself was already scary, but then it got worse when he leaned. 

The glass had a dark shade; it was hard to see through it at the first glance but soon his eyes got used to the smooth surface and after blinking a bit, Shiro could see through it. 

Lance was in this one. He'd guessed it, of course. He'd asked Coran to bring him to Lance. The man hadn't lied and had simply obeyed. 

"What does that mean?" Shiro murmured. 

He didn't know if he was feeling relieved or more worried than ever. A thick and flexible pipe came out of Lance's mouth, and another one, so tiny that he barely could see it, slide in his right nostril. Lance wasn't wearing the white and grey healing suit anymore, and it was only his boxers under the amount of white bandages aroung his tummy. 

Something like a soft cloud seemed to fill the place all around him in the giant tube, clear and blurry at the same time. 

"Emergency pods," Coran said. "Actually that's my fault for undervalueing Lance's state in the beginning. Our usual pods aren't powerful enough, I should have put him here in the first place..." 

Coran's sigh made Shiro wince. He couldn't say anything; no one could have known actually. Coran wasn't a doctor or anything and it was already a lot if he was able to do something thanks to the Altean technology. 

"How is he, Coran?" Shiro eventually asked. 

Lance just looked asleep and he didn't know if it was a good thing or not. 

"Well, do you see it?" He gestured for the whole tube and SHiro frowned a bit. "This is a steam that does the same work as the healing water we've put him into. It basically maintains him into that artificial coma and helps the healing." 

"Coma?" Shiro repeated with a slow, low voice, then sucked in a breath as he was staring at Lance. 

"To save him, Shiro," Coran gently said. His voice tended to be smoother than usual, without that joking tone he used to have. It was, somehow, a more paternal way to talk. 

The place felt like a huge hospital room, but different. Different because of the silence surrounding them, the silence all around the place. No loud breathing, no beep. 

It was a silence that scared Shiro so much by all the possible meanings it did induce. Coma. Death. Disapearance. 

There was no awful smell like in any hspital on earth. It didn't smell anything and Shiro hated the idea of not being able to _feel_ the situation as it was. It was directly due to how they were conditionned to the antiseptic smell of hospitals on Earth and Coran looked more affected by the place than he, Shiro, was. 

But Lance's body in the steamy pod killed every thoughts he had. 

It killed everything, actually, and he heard a long and desperate sight escaping from someone. From himself? 

"Coran," He muttered, "I need..." 

_To be alone with him._ But Shiro didn't take the time to pocess his own words that Coran patted his back gently and turned his heels. 

"I'm leaving for now. Take your time, young Paladin. The team work isn't only in the battle, you know it..." 

Shiro nodded slowly, and soon the sound of pressured air echoed in the silent room. Coran was gone, leaving a place full of empty pods around Shiro and Lance. With a new sight, he put his human hand on the glassy tube. It was cold, too dark for his liking, incredibly smooth under his palm. 

What could he do now? What could he say? Did he have to say something? He was alone. _They_ were alone, and even if Lance was sleeping -was he? it felt weird and stressful at the same time through that dull sorrow overwhelming him for now days and days. 

"H-hey," he barely managed to articulate and the sound of his own voice, shaky and unsteady, scared him for a moment. 

Lance didn't move. His eyelids didn't even tremble. His breath didn't seem to change at all. 

Shiro breathed in and out, slowly. 

_He was alone._

"H-ow...How is it...Buddy...?" he started, low, then cleared his throat a little. He leaned on the pod, testing the strength of the thick glass and crossed his arms on his, forehead almost put on the smooth surface. "Man, I don't know what to say..." He mumbled. "Can you even hear me...?" 

Lance's face remained quiet. If he was in pain or anything, his features didn't show it. At all. But the bandages on his body told the reverse, with old blood splattered accross the white fabric. 

It was real. 

And horrific. 

"Keith...I think Keith misses you?" he murmured. "He doesn't act like he uses to, you know...He does how we tell him to...Most of the time...He's...Caring. More than anyone, I guess. You two argue a lot but...I know you're friends...Close friends...Right...?" 

He remembered how Keith had stopped arguing with anyone about everything after the battle. Sometimes, his usual self was back for a few seconds but soon he was giving up and following. It was quicker when _safety_ was in the background of a mission for the whole team. The four of them. 

Shiro shighs again, heavily. 

"Pidge asks me everyday to play with her to that old game...I'm sure you're the one she would ask for if you were here, man," he huffed. "But I'm bad at video games...She's frustrated and always ends up pouting somehow..." 

He could picture her face, slightly annoyed, pursing lips when her fingers crushed the buttons on the controller by the end of the game when Shiro's character was already showing a colorful _Game Over_ for several minutes already. In the darkness of the room, sitting in the usual mess the girl had put here -it was rather apocaliptical, it was always scary to watch. But he couldn't refuse. He couldn't let her down when she just needed someone to be by her side for a small moment, even if she didn't say it out loud. She was a proud one, a girl hiding amongst men, and if they all knew by now, they had always respected the way she was living and doing it, day after day. 

"Ah, we can't enter the kitchen anymore, Hunk's all over the place and refuses anyone to come in...Even Coran doesn't know what he's up to, most of the time..." 

Another sigh. 

Of course, Hunk was _cooking_ , but the way he was getting dedicated to that wasn't getting healthy for any of them, no matter how amazing he was. And Shiro knew. He knew, he could _feel_ how the young man was trying _hard_ to focus on something not to let himself get overwhelmed by his own sorrow. 

Lance was his best friend. 

But Lance wasn't here anymore, and that last thought hit Shiro as hard as usually. He swallowed, hard, the small lump that started to form in the back of his throat. 

"Coran tries to stay the same," he continued, but he could feel and hear the tremor back in his own voice. He hated himself for not being to hold back such things. "Actually, he's more like a father lately, you know...? Bet you would...Make some joke about it..." 

"And...Allura's sad...She doesn't say anything about the situation, you know...But...She is...I can see it..." 

It was always awful when Shiro's eyes met Allura's in a short moment where she was lost in her thoughts, her soft face featuring that same sorrow as them all. 

The entire team, Allura and Coran included, was so painful that it was getting unbearable. 

"Lance..." 

More than a call, it was a whine, someting desperate, that escaped his mouth and Shiro thought he was about to choke on the name. He called him again, again and again, softly, with the hope that his voice could reach the young man through the glass and the steam. 

_Lance. Lance. Lance. Please._

"Come back, Lance...Please..." Shiro whispered. "I...I just can't..." 

_I need you._

_Please._

"I made you a promise..." 

Eyes closed and burning, Shiro took his forehead off the cold glass, rubbing the spot with the back of his hand. 

"I'll bring you back to Earth..." 

He blinked a bit, trying to get rid of the wetness disturbing his view. 

"So...Please, smile to me...Again..." 

The next second, he couldn't breath. 

Dark blue eyes were staring at him. 

And he could drown in that colour forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so here we are with this part! I'll be working for a moment on other stuff beside fanfiction until the beginning of December, but I don't forget anyone here! 
> 
> Huge huge huge thank you to people who still follow my work ToT I love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> This time again, I decided to cut it in two chapters! I hope you liked this one, please prepare yourself for the second! <3 
> 
> Don't hesitate and leave a word!


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